Claudio Villa/Getty ImagesBurnley defender Clarke Carlisle recently proved that some elite level footballers do actually have a certain degree of intelligence, when he was featured on UK game show Countdown.
However, it is clear that Carlisle is something of an anomaly. Most professional footballers ditch education at a young age in order to achieve success at the highest level.
And it evidently shows. Here are 20 of the all-time funniest quotes produced by top level football players:
1) "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."
AC Milan star David Beckham talks about his son Brooklyn.
2) "Everything in our favour was against us."
Former Tottenham Hotspur legend Danny Blanchflower displaying his ingeniousness.
3) "Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game, and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season."
Ian Rush, mate, you do know that Lens are actually a French team, right?
4) "I couldn't settle in Italy; it was like living in a foreign country."
Again, Welsh native Ian Rush displays such brilliant intelligence.
5) "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
So, Alan Shearer, you're saying that we are accusing you of doing your best?
6) "I've had 14 bookings this season; eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
Paul Gascoigne proves his worth as a revolutionary mathematician.
7) "I'm more afraid of my mum than Sven-Goran Eriksson or David Moyes."
So either Wayne Rooney's mum is some sort of terrifying feminazi, or Eriksson and Moyes are just sissies.
8) "It took a lot of bottle for Tony [Adams] to own up."
Former Arsenal man Ian Wright's unintentionally fitting metaphor on his teammate's battle with alcohol.
9) "Maka's normally a one-in-ten man. Most players score nine out of ten, but he misses nine out of ten."
Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard affectionally puts teammate Claude Makalele's penalty record into perspective for us.
10) "One year I played 15 months."
Franz Beckenbauer defies the laws of time.
11) "He's a fantastic player. When he isn't drunk."
Brian Laudrup closely analyses the performances of former England hero Paul Gascoigne.
12) "He [Zinedine Zidane] has the body of a bear, the mind of a fox, and, err... terrific skills."
If you're stuck for words on a player, just say they've got good skills. Isn't that right, Brian Moore?
13) "Enthusiasm is everything. It must be taut and vibrating like a guitar string."
Is Pele talking about football, or Viagra?
14) "I think that France, Germany, Spain, Holland and England will join Brazil in the semi-finals."
At the World Cup, Pele proves his worth as a footballing legend in more ways than one.
15) "He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's alright."
A general description of Yoosof Farah's football abilities one would think. In fact, it's George Best's verdict on David Beckham.
16) "Wisey said I think too much. But I have to do all his thinking for him."
Gianfranco Zola on Chelsea teammate Dennis Wise back in the day.
17) "I might have said that, but on the whole I talk a lot of rubbish."
Eric Cantona clears up a few things for us.
18) Interviewer: "Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?"
David Beckham: "Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side."
The England legend clearly has a brilliant understanding of the English language.
19) "I was really surprised when The FA knocked on my doorbell."
Manchester United striker Michael Owen on his fear of England's football governing body.
20) "I have a good record there. Played one, won one, and hopefully it will be the same after Saturday."
Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard crosses his fingers in hope.
To see the genius creations of fans in the stands and the 20 funniest football chants ever, click here.
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